The A.R.E. Questionnaire

Explore your relationship through an attachment lens. Based on "Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson.

Is your partner accessible to you?

1. I can get my partner's attention easily.

2. My partner is easy to connect with emotionally.

3. My partner shows me I come first with him/her.

4. I am not feeling lonely or shut out in this relationship.

5. I can share my deepest feelings with my partner; he/she will listen.

Is your partner responsive to you?

1. If I need connection and comfort, he/she will be there for me.

2. My partner responds to signals that I need him/her to come close.

3. I find I can lean on my partner when I am anxious or unsure.

4. Even when we fight or disagree, I know that I am important to my partner and we will find a way to come together.

5. If I need reassurance that I am important to my partner, I can get it.

Are you positively emotionally engaged with each other?

1. I feel very comfortable being close to, trusting my partner.

2. I can confide in my partner about almost anything.

3. I feel confident, even when we are apart, that we are connected to each other.

4. I know that my partner cares about my joys, hurts, and fears.

5. I feel safe enough to take emotional risks with my partner.