FAQ - General
How do I set up an appointment?
You can call me at 619-777-6131 or fill out my contact form. I will reach out to you and offer a complimentary 20 minute consultation call or Zoom to answer questions and make sure we’re a good fit.
Do I need to fill out paperwork?
Yes. Once you’ve scheduled your first appointment, I’ll send you a link to my client portal where you will need to complete new client paperwork, including: a questionnaire, several consent forms, and a credit card authorization form. It should take around 20 minutes. It helps me prepare for your session if you can complete the paperwork at least 24 hours prior to your appointment . If you are coming for couples therapy, each partner will receive access to my client portal and will need to complete paperwork individually.
FAQ - Couples Therapy
How often will we meet?
I prefer to work with clients on a weekly basis, at least initially. Less frequent sessions make the work progress too slowly and clients have difficulty reaching their goals. I take on a limited number of clients so I can truly give you my undivided attention.
How many sessions will it take?
The length of treatment is impacted by the client’s commitment to the process and the issues brought into therapy. For couples therapy, I use a relatively short-term method called Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT. Assuming that the couple is committed to the process and uses the techniques discussed in treatment, therapy can take as little as 3-4 months. However, therapy often take quite a bit longer, particularly if there’s been an injury to the relationship such as an affair or a betrayal or if either or both partners have a history of trauma. In these cases, sometimes therapy can take a year or many years.
Is there anything we can do to speed up the process?
It helps to get a jump start on treatment by reading Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, by Dr. Sue Johnson, who created EFT. Reading this book or listening to it on Audible, helps to demystify the process of EFT and provides examples of couples who may be going through similar issues you are facing with your partner.
Will You take sides?
I don’t take sides. My aim is for both partners to feel heard, understood, and supported throughout the process.
Is it OK if I go alone?
Yes. It’s not uncommon for one partner to have ambivalence or flat out refuse to come to couples therapy and in that case I would recommend individual relationship therapy, to get started. Sometimes when the other partner sees how much therapy is benefiting the relationship they’ll rethink their decision. If we’ve just had a few individual sessions, we can discuss moving into couples therapy however, if we’ve been working together for sometime, I’ll recommend another couples therapist and suggest we continue individual therapy simultaneously.
Is it OK if we talk about sex?
Definitely. Sex is an important part of romantic relationships and it’s important that we discuss your satisfaction or lack of satisfaction with your sex life, at your comfort level. If there are problems related to lack of interest or lack of fulfillment during sex it is often connected to your level of connection or disconnection in the relationship. That said, if you believe you’re having a specific medical problem, we’ll discuss a possible referral to a medical specialist.
Will couples therapy save my relationship?
In short, I hope so. My job as your therapist is to work myself out of a job. I hope very much that through this process you’ll feel closer and more connected then ever. The good news is that most of the time, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy does work. Clinical studies show that EFT improves relationships for 75-80% of couples. EFT research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery through treatment and approximately 90% show significant improvements. Those are very good odds.
We’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t work. Why will it work now?
Many well meaning therapists offer couples therapy without any specific couples therapy training, not realizing that effective couples therapy requires different skills and techniques than providing therapy to individuals. So, if you did couples therapy before and it didn’t work, it’s likely that your therapist did not have specific training. Another reason it may not have worked is that both partners may not have been ready to fully commit to the process. There may have been personal issues, addictions, or other reasons keeping a partner from participating fully or being open to change. While there are no guarantees that couples therapy will work this time, it’s likely that if there’s an issue with your relationship, there’s a whole lot at stake so it might be worth giving it another go.
Can couples therapy help if there’s violence in my relationship?
Couples therapy is contraindicated (should not be used) when there is ongoing violence or threats of violence in the relationship. The process of couples therapy is about creating emotional safety which is not possible if someone’s physical safety is at risk. If there is violence in your relationship, it is recommended both partners work with individual therapists until safety is restored before couples therapy is considered. If you are in an unsafe relationship contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or visit thehotline.org.